You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
