So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
