SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
