If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
