I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
