we have pet lesbian snakes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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