kristin has been a bad kristin
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
