do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
