So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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