Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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