I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you inspire me to be a worse person
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
