I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
