mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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