She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
