Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
