I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
