Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
this boner is exhausting
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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