We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
