I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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