the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
