You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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