Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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