if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
