if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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