His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
dude. I can hear the air.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
