forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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