the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
