Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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