I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Your dad touched me again.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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