Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
