The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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