so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize