I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
