in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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