my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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