Where is the hickey?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
