its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm both gender and math confused
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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