So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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