Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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