It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
