She even gives head with a lisp.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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