Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
