toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
