I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
