come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
