Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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