NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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