she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
