I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize