Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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