How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
