i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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