listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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