My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
