He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I need water and some morals
try to milk me bitch
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
