hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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