Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She announced her abortion via fbk
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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