So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
