just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
