I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
how does that bad decision feel?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
