More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
